i woke up today in need of focusing on the lovely around me. its been harder lately. the solitude. the lack of deep friendship. the endless piles of crap that keep forming, even though i just put them away. the pressures of kindergarten projects. if i’d of known how this day was gonna end, those things would not have seemed so heavy. i would have spent the day truly enjoying the lovely, hugging their little bodies and kissing their rosy cheeks.
While making dinner my sister called to say Dad is in the hospital and the doctor needed to talk to us. It wasn’t good news. He’s dying. Only days to live. Cancer has spread to his brain. I wish I would have known. I wish he didn’t spend his last days alone. I wish I would have told him I loved him. I wish he knew Jesus.